Ice Cream Stains on My Race Jersey

So, you know that part in my personal introduction where I told you that I might reveal how health freaks mess up sometimes? I would now like to make good on that promise by telling on myself. And it won't be pretty. Which is why some of you will love it.

Just over two weeks ago, I finished my first half-marathon. It was a beautiful feeling. While I took longer than I had planned to, I still relished the sense of accomplishment that comes when a dream like that is realized. I got more than a little giddy at having my first legitimate finisher medal. And I love the technical tee that I got in my enrollment packet. It's soft, breathable, and, obviously, super cool because it comes from a flipping half- marathon. I wear that bad boy whenever I think I can get away with it.You would be amazed at how many times it has made it into the wardrobe rotation in little more than 14 days.

Just over a week ago, it was Free Cone Day at Ben & Jerry's. The Hubs and I are pretty frugal folks, so that word "free" caught my attention. The Hubs and I are also supposed to be pretty healthy folks, but Ben & Jerry's had me at hello. I was going to go get me some of that scrumptious stuff and cross my fingers that none of my health class students caught me there. And the only reason they *would* see me there is if they too were indulging, at which point I had my handy "judge-not-lest-ye-be-judged" retort ready. After all, I get to read their food diaries.

Guess what I wore to Free Cone Day? Yep. My race jersey. The Hubs went in one of his triathlon jerseys, and we laughed heartily at ourselves and our hypocrisy as only two people obsessed with health can do. Because it's really not that funny otherwise.

Guess what I dripped all over my race jersey? Yep. My Free Cone. Which, incidentally, I had upgraded to a waffle cone with an extra scoop of ice cream. It was only $2, and it supported the schools. Of course, I could also have supported the schools by getting the new frozen Greek yogurt varieties, but I wasn't interested in small cones, or offerings that did not include chocolate. And the chocolate is exactly what landed on three different spots of my race jersey. The diet gods sought their revenge for my poor choice, and they got me where it hurt the most.

NOTE: This picture is from Google images. It isn't me. It doesn't

look a thing like me. Heck, if my skin were that tan, I would care less

about being caught with a face full of chocolate. Or ice cream. Or both.

Thankfully, my jersey is fine now, thanks to a little pre-treatment with Dawn dishwashing liquid, which I am not paid to endorse, but now feel I ought to be. It looks like nothing ever happened, and it is ready to be worn on whatever food adventure carries me off next.

For the most part, my body looks like nothing ever happened, but that can't be quite true. Every time we eat something with a GL over 20, we send our glucose levels on a roller coaster ride that causes weird things to happen. Things like arterial spasms that we never feel. Things like energy depletion that we do feel. Truth be told, ice cream served at home isn't *that* bad on the glycemic load spectrum. A half-cup serving, on average, has a GL of about 8. While I don't heartily advocate it, because it's really not what any dietician would dub a balanced snack, it certainly isn't the worst blood sugar offender out there. 

So what's the big deal about my ill-fated foray on Free Cone Day? In the world of glycemic loads, size really does matter. Have you ever seen a half-cup of ice cream? It's less than you think. It may have been the size of the single-scoop Free Cone, but I know that those upgrades put it over the top. In fact, I checked out the facts for the closest competitor I could find, Cold Stone Creamery, and found out that even their smallest offering, the Like It-sized serving, is over three times as large as that half-cup serving we are supposed to have. And guess what that does to the GL, my friends? It suddenly turns ice cream into a glycemic nightmare. If you don't believe me, check out one of my favorite websites, NutritionData.com and see the GL of your favorite flavor for yourself. Fortunately for me, they don't have a listing for "Ben & Jerry's Free Cone, Super-sized for Maximum Cellular Damage." 


On the flipside, size matters in another way. If you split a treat--or any food for that matter--with someone, you can cut your glycemic load in half. Assuming you're not a territorial pig who eats all but one bite. And assuming you and that someone can agree on ice cream flavors, which would never happen in our home. The Hubs is a wonderful man, but let's just say that his taste in women is, in general, far superior to his taste in ice cream flavors. His ice cream choices don't exactly raise the bar too high for his taste in women, but if you're reading this, I trust you think he's done all right in choosing a life partner. I mean, I ran a half-marathon for crying out loud. That trumps lame-o Strawberry Cheesecake ice cream any day of the week.

Wanna know what we did when we went home from Free Cone Day? Watched Biggest Loser and did crunches during commercial breaks. How ironic is that?

New Year's Resolutions Stink

I want to lose weight. I want to be healthy. I want to look good in my swimsuit this summer. I want....oh, look! Snickers are on sale!

Have you ever wondered why we even bother with resolutions anymore? I mean, there are a lot of things I *want* (Snickers not always being at the bottom of that list), but a lot fewer things that I am actually willing to *work* toward getting. (Snickers being an exception to this rule as well. And, yes, I do realize that this is a health blog...I'm getting to that point soon.)  The pros tell us that most resolutions are abandoned by January 9. For those of you who are better than that, what do you get for actually staying true to your resolutions, anyway? The ability to check off tasks from a made-up list and look back at the end of the year to pretend that you did something that mattered, if only to you? It's kind of a lame payoff.


Don't get me wrong. Even with the title "New Year's Resolutions Stink," I really don't hate goals or people who set the bar high for themselves and make the rest of us look like losers. To be truthful, my husband and I are some of the most neurotically goal-driven people I know. We actually passed up a trip to Hawaii because it didn't get us closer to our ultimate goal of seeing all seven continents before starting a family. Retrospectively, it was the single most idiotic decision we've ever made regarding vacations. And the hubs is a chronic overachiever. Case in point: As soon as he broke a 10-minute-mile in running, he decided to train for a triathlon. Normal people don't do that. So, when I say that resolutions stink, please hear me from an it-takes-one-to-know-one perspective.


I've found that it's nice to have those short term goals, but, in the end, it's what you do with the rest of your life that matters. If trying to beat your best record in a 5K helps you get out there and move on a daily basis, great! But if you achieve that goal in February and surf the couch for the rest of the year, I kind of don't get the point.  I help people lose weight through a twelve-week class I teach, and, while I am proud of all my girls who experience short-term success, what excites me most is seeing them long after class is dismissed, maintaining their weight because they have decided that some of the new habits they developed during those twelve weeks are worth hanging onto in their real lives, as well. Maybe they decided that walking a few minutes every day was almost as easy as watching TV; or that turkey burgers really do leave you feeling better than mystery meat from the fast-food restaurant; or that skipping a starch during dinner every now and again isn't a cardinal sin. It's the little decisions they make on a daily basis that add up for lasting results and leave them better off in the long run, and that's what counts.


So that's what this blog is here for: to share sustainable swaps you can make to keep you and your family healthier, to give you a little encouragement by example (not always guaranteed to be a positive one!), and to see if we can't start to change the health situation in our country without magic diet pills or weight loss competitions, but by learning to enjoy what it means to be healthy day in and day out.


And that's probably why I waited until mid-January to start writing this blog. I didn't wake up on January 1 and think to myself, "Hmm...what should I do this year? I know! I will write a blog!" It's been a long time coming. Now that I've finally got around to it, I'm kind of here to stay. Because I want this to be a much bigger part of my life than any temporary resolution ever could. Remember, I said they stink.