Ice Cream Stains on My Race Jersey

So, you know that part in my personal introduction where I told you that I might reveal how health freaks mess up sometimes? I would now like to make good on that promise by telling on myself. And it won't be pretty. Which is why some of you will love it.

Just over two weeks ago, I finished my first half-marathon. It was a beautiful feeling. While I took longer than I had planned to, I still relished the sense of accomplishment that comes when a dream like that is realized. I got more than a little giddy at having my first legitimate finisher medal. And I love the technical tee that I got in my enrollment packet. It's soft, breathable, and, obviously, super cool because it comes from a flipping half- marathon. I wear that bad boy whenever I think I can get away with it.You would be amazed at how many times it has made it into the wardrobe rotation in little more than 14 days.

Just over a week ago, it was Free Cone Day at Ben & Jerry's. The Hubs and I are pretty frugal folks, so that word "free" caught my attention. The Hubs and I are also supposed to be pretty healthy folks, but Ben & Jerry's had me at hello. I was going to go get me some of that scrumptious stuff and cross my fingers that none of my health class students caught me there. And the only reason they *would* see me there is if they too were indulging, at which point I had my handy "judge-not-lest-ye-be-judged" retort ready. After all, I get to read their food diaries.

Guess what I wore to Free Cone Day? Yep. My race jersey. The Hubs went in one of his triathlon jerseys, and we laughed heartily at ourselves and our hypocrisy as only two people obsessed with health can do. Because it's really not that funny otherwise.

Guess what I dripped all over my race jersey? Yep. My Free Cone. Which, incidentally, I had upgraded to a waffle cone with an extra scoop of ice cream. It was only $2, and it supported the schools. Of course, I could also have supported the schools by getting the new frozen Greek yogurt varieties, but I wasn't interested in small cones, or offerings that did not include chocolate. And the chocolate is exactly what landed on three different spots of my race jersey. The diet gods sought their revenge for my poor choice, and they got me where it hurt the most.

NOTE: This picture is from Google images. It isn't me. It doesn't

look a thing like me. Heck, if my skin were that tan, I would care less

about being caught with a face full of chocolate. Or ice cream. Or both.

Thankfully, my jersey is fine now, thanks to a little pre-treatment with Dawn dishwashing liquid, which I am not paid to endorse, but now feel I ought to be. It looks like nothing ever happened, and it is ready to be worn on whatever food adventure carries me off next.

For the most part, my body looks like nothing ever happened, but that can't be quite true. Every time we eat something with a GL over 20, we send our glucose levels on a roller coaster ride that causes weird things to happen. Things like arterial spasms that we never feel. Things like energy depletion that we do feel. Truth be told, ice cream served at home isn't *that* bad on the glycemic load spectrum. A half-cup serving, on average, has a GL of about 8. While I don't heartily advocate it, because it's really not what any dietician would dub a balanced snack, it certainly isn't the worst blood sugar offender out there. 

So what's the big deal about my ill-fated foray on Free Cone Day? In the world of glycemic loads, size really does matter. Have you ever seen a half-cup of ice cream? It's less than you think. It may have been the size of the single-scoop Free Cone, but I know that those upgrades put it over the top. In fact, I checked out the facts for the closest competitor I could find, Cold Stone Creamery, and found out that even their smallest offering, the Like It-sized serving, is over three times as large as that half-cup serving we are supposed to have. And guess what that does to the GL, my friends? It suddenly turns ice cream into a glycemic nightmare. If you don't believe me, check out one of my favorite websites, NutritionData.com and see the GL of your favorite flavor for yourself. Fortunately for me, they don't have a listing for "Ben & Jerry's Free Cone, Super-sized for Maximum Cellular Damage." 


On the flipside, size matters in another way. If you split a treat--or any food for that matter--with someone, you can cut your glycemic load in half. Assuming you're not a territorial pig who eats all but one bite. And assuming you and that someone can agree on ice cream flavors, which would never happen in our home. The Hubs is a wonderful man, but let's just say that his taste in women is, in general, far superior to his taste in ice cream flavors. His ice cream choices don't exactly raise the bar too high for his taste in women, but if you're reading this, I trust you think he's done all right in choosing a life partner. I mean, I ran a half-marathon for crying out loud. That trumps lame-o Strawberry Cheesecake ice cream any day of the week.

Wanna know what we did when we went home from Free Cone Day? Watched Biggest Loser and did crunches during commercial breaks. How ironic is that?