I Just Ate Gelato for Lunch. But You Should Probably Just Have Cheesecake.

Today I ate gelato for lunch.  This probably makes me the worst health class teacher in the world. In that case, I will be truly glad if the whole Mayan apocalype comes to pass tomorrow, because then I only have to live one day with the infamy of being forever labeled as The Health Coach Who Ate Gelato for Lunch, the wellness industry's equivalent of a scarlet letter. Check out what happened to one coach in an identical similar situation:

The wellness crowd can be pretty brutal, forcing offenders to suffer through public humiliation in the form of ugly shoes and threats of coconut almond milk.

I really didn't intend to have ice cream for lunch. And I don't really have an excuse for doing so, either. Other than the fact that the Hubs and I just came back from a weekend cruise filled with more-than-you-can-eat dining options that tend to trigger off a cycle of sharp blood sugar rises and crashes that lead to carb cravings. Other than the fact that, in the three full days since we've returned, we've had three different food-laden celebrations to attend. Other than the fact that my earliest bed time in the past couple of nights has been 2:30am, with an average sleep time of under 5 hours--which can really mess with a girl's hunger and satiety hormones. Other than the fact that I haven't exercised all week, which can also impair a girl's sensitivity to insulin and keep the cravings coming in full force. 

In short, I pretty much haven't done anything smart enough to stop it. Please, people, if you're reading this, don't be an idiot with your health in the days leading up to Christmas. Or the Mayan Apocalypse. Sleep well, eat some veggies to balance off that 5-lb bag of candy you won at the office gift exchange, and take a walk around the block to look at Christmas lights. Every smart thing you do helps. And, clearly, every smart thing you fail to do adds up, too.

You know what I should have had for lunch? Cheesecake. I'm not out-and-out *advocating* that you replace your salad with it, but I might be a little serious. People malign this sumptuous dessert because of its high fat and calorie count, but I'm here to tell you that not everything that tastes good is bad for you. Especially when you transform it into a healthy slice of glory like my friends at Trinity Health Weight Loss did. I made a couple of modifications improvements to their original recipe, so that this dessert makeover can fly under the radar at your next big party. Or potluck. Or lunch.

I've even given you the breakdown of what makes it so balanced, just in case people start looking at you all judgey and whatnot while they eat their tofu.

                                           Chocolate Swirl Cheesecake Ingredients
Protein Powerhouses:           1 lb. nonfat cottage *or* ricotta cheese
                                            1 lb. nonfat cream cheese
                                            1 1/2 c. vanilla Greek yogurt
                                            3 eggs
Fab Fiber:                             3 T. Fibergy (or 6 T. special-order hi-maize resistant cornstarch)
Safe Sweeteners:                  1 1/4 c Stevia
                                            2 tsp. vanilla
                                            1 T. cocoa powder
                                            6 oz. dark chocolate chips (What happens to the other 6 oz is up to you)
Don't Panic:                          1/4 c. butter 
                                                       
                                            How-to-guide on making your dessert awesome:

• Preheat oven to 325 degrees.
• Use an electric mixer to beat both cheeses until creamy.
• Beat in stevia and eggs.
• Beat in Fibergy and vanilla.
• Stir in butter and Greek yogurt at low speed.
• In a separate bowl, melt chocolate chips in the microwave and stir in cocoa powder.
• Separate half of the batter into another separate bowl, and add chocolatey goodness.
• In a lightly greased 9-inch springform pan, pour the vanilla batter first.
• Add chocolate batter, and drag a knife through the entire mixture for a super awesome marbled effect. (Note: Most of the time, my cheesecake ends up looking like it has a top layer of chocolate, and a bottom layer of vanilla, more than a super awesome marbled effect. But, it's OK. It still tastes super awesome.)
• Bake for 1 hr. 15 min, or until it passes the toothpick test. THEN, turn oven off and let cake cool in oven for 2 1/2-3 hours. (I can't tell you how many times I've forgotten that step.)
• Chill well, remove from pan, and cut into 16 servings.
• Enjoy the awesomeness and remember to share.

 
 

With any luck, your cheesecake should come out looking like this:

 

 

 

And with any guts, you should be able to tell all those tofu-eating losers to go see if their precious soy plant can give them such a tasty snack for under 200 calories and an impressively low 6 GL. And when they come back with a resounding yes, remind them that the key word was "tasty." And then come back and thank me for being the worst health class teacher in the world.

Full Disclosure: Yes, my decision to eat gelato for lunch was shameful. But it still was tasty.