The Great Coconut Milk Caper

Recently, I went to the health food store with my neighbor. We had a good time exploring all the nooks and crannies together, and I succumbed to the occupational hazard of getting way too excited about sales on organic quinoa and garbanzo bean flour for my gluten-free brownie recipe. While this in itself may be a sign that I need to get a real life, it was not the most disturbing occurrence of the day.

During my giddy tromp through the aisles of wholesome goodness, I came across a shiny new product. With a *coupon*. The Almond-Coconut Milk was practically begging me to pick it up and enjoy it. And so I picked it up. And I did NOT enjoy it.

 The manufacturers were not lying when they said it was unsweetened. I assumed that the nutty flavor of the almonds or the natural sweetness of the coconut would create a goodness all its own. Not even a show featuring a flatulent 6-year-old pageant girl named Honey Boo Boo could be more wrong. I desperately tried to save the milk with my favorite liquid stevia, but it was a lost cause. There was no salvaging the damage done to my taste buds.

Even though I had little hope of TLC making a show about my epic plight through the health food world, I really had wanted to be some sort of cool trend-setting milk drinker. There were a million problems with that premise already--not the least of which was the fact that the words "cool" and "trend-setting" are rarely seen with "milk-drinker." The bad taste that the almond-coconut milk left in my mouth didn't help my cause, either. I realized that sacrificing taste for the sake of looking like some uber chic health class teacher was not worth it.

See, there are a lot of healthy beverage options other than unsweetened coconut milk, several of which I actually enjoy. In fact, on this same fateful day, I had also purchased unsweetened cranberry juice to blend into this amazing recipe that tricks me into drinking more water. You'll never guess which one I have almost polished off.

With my classes, I give my students a list of healthy foods they can choose from in order to attain maximum weight loss. While this list is designed to provide them with useful information for making great meal combinations, it is not meant to force them to choose items with a 0 GL just to make them look like health food superstars. Honestly, I think 0 GL artichoke should be savored in a spinach dip and not served up as a yucky substitute for  asparagus, the only 2 GL vegetable God created as a binge food. And there is no way on earth that I am going to force feed myself a 0 GL lemon when I could be having a 5 GL apple. *All* of the options on the list are perfectly good choices, and I want my girls to stock up on ones that they will actually eat, not just ones that appear "healthier." Seriously, I would much rather them have a vegetable they love with a low GL than one they "make" themselves eat with no GL at all. Otherwise, as soon as our class time is up, they'll get 0 GL from their veggies, but it won't be because they're making healthier choices...they simply won't be eating veggies at all. If they can't love the healthy choices they make, they will eventually stop making them altogether.

I'm not even sure this picture is relevant, but I can't help laughing every time I see it. So I put it in my blog. To enjoy forever.

A healthy lifestyle should be designed to work with a person's taste buds and not against them.  No, it doesn't mean that you eat Snickers because they make you happy, but it doesn't mean that any food that does must be automatically bad for you, either. This summer, I was almost addicted to watermelon. With every bite I savored, I didn't have to convince myself that having a 7 GL cup of this fruit was a good health choice; I ate it almost incessantly simply because it was a healthy choice I already loved. While my girls know that one cup of beans has about the same protein content as a palm-sized serving of chicken breast, I don't see the point in forcing someone who loves grilled chicken with peppers and pineapple to try to force down some pintos instead. Go with what you know, and then go with what you love!

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go drink some cranberry water and drain some coconut milk. And then maybe I'll follow up with the TLC folks, just in case they changed their minds about my TV series, after all.

Sensa Sensibility: The Problem with Diet Pills and Trends

Prepare yourselves for another rant, my friends. Today I am going off on all those magic diet pills and trends that promise maximum results with minimal effort. I don't mean to single Sensa out--though it does seem to be pretty weird--but I thought using Sensa in the title was a much cleverer ode to the works of Jane Austen than say, Northanger Amberen would be, so I ran with it. Besides, it's my blog and I can pretty much do what I like. (Insert evil, health class teacher laugh here)

The prevalence of weight loss products out there is a sad testament to the fact that what we've been doing for the past 30 years isn't working. Despite spending $30 billion dollars a year  on weight loss, 66% of the population is still struggling to lose weight or manage to keep it off. If our weight management was a mutual funds investment, the dismal ROI would cause me to fire my financial adviser. It's these pathetic results that keep us grasping at straws, looking for the next miracle solution, when the answers lie right in front of us-- on our plate.

In case you're not familiar with the whole concept of Sensa, here's the Cliff's Notes version: You sprinkle little flavor crystals, known as Tastants, on whatever food you eat, and they are supposed to signal your body to be fuller faster. While they aren't supposed to alter the flavor of your food, they do come in a Salty and Sweet variety, so that confuses me a little. The magic lies in the fact that the founders of Sensa claim that you don't have to change what you're eating at all, and you'll still lose an average of 30 pounds in 6 months. 

While this sounds somewhat promising--who doesn't want to lose weight automatically?--I have some pretty big concerns about the entire premise of their program. For your convenience, I've gone ahead and weighed out the pros and cons for you in a handy dandy chart:

Pros	Cons
Promises weight loss without exercise.	You can get skinny and not be fit, which is actually more of a health hazard than smoking.*
Promises weight loss without a change in diet.	Only suppresses appetite, without addressing real issues of insulin imbalance that cause cravings in the first place.
Sprinkling your food with flavor packets is almost like decorating a cupcake.	I’d hate to mix up the salty and sweet flavor crystals and ruin a perfectly good Snickers bar.
Tastant packets are “flavorless.”	So, why do the Salty and Sweet sprinkles change on a monthly basis? And why do consumers disagree?
Free 30-day trial.	After that, you have to pay good money for sprinkly things that a) don’t add any real nutritional value to your food and b) might still ruin a perfectly good Snickers bar.
Program offers additional products, like snack chews, flavored water, and recipe books for support.	If those magic sprinkles are so awesome, why would you need new snacks and recipes to help you lose weight?

*No, this is not me speaking in health class teacher hyperbole. There is a legitimate study in the New England Journal of Medicine to back me up on this one.

Other programs have similar complications. Amberen, for example, boasts of balancing your hormones, which I happen to think is a critical component of long-term weight loss; however, when you dig deeper into their "program," you find that you just can't take their magic pills and lose weight, either. There's always a recipe book or recommended exercise to go along with it. And don't even get me started on some of the ingredients in the actual tablets (or sprinkles) themselves: If you read some of the ingredients lists, you would be pretty freaked out. But it would also explain why some of these, including Alli and Sensa, have consumer reports of negative side effects, including nausea, faintness, and blood pressure issues.  I fully realize that this is not everyone's experience, and you can't always believe what you read on the internet (except if it is written by Jennifer Mason). But that is a two-way street--advertisers can do just as much embellishing as any disgruntled consumer can.

My problem is not that no one has invented the magic pill for instant weight loss. 

My problem is that these companies are claiming that they have.

 

Heck, I don't mind if there is a diet plan to go along with a supplement for weight loss; I mind that consumers are misled into believing that there is really nothing to weight loss except for popping a pill or sprinkling a powder. In fact, I believe there *should* be a change in lifestyle to accompany weight loss. I've seen people get thin the wrong way, and, believe me, I would much rather have someone do it right, even if it takes a little longer. You wanna know the ironic thing, though? On average, students who modify their lifestyle using my class principles, can actually lose weight at the same rate or faster than those using a "quick-fix" approach. And then they're equipped with the tools and the education to continue with healthy habits for life, without any risk of side effects that the FDA may not warn against with these new pills until they discover them too late. (Those of you old enough to remember the Fen-Phen scare will know what I'm talking about.)

Just to be fair to the Sensa folks, I created a handy dandy little table with pros and cons for the method I use in my 12-week health classes, as well. The best part to me is that none of this will be news to my students. They know what they are getting into up front, and, despite the inclusion of the 5th item on each side of the chart, they choose to join anyway:

Pros	Cons
Teaches students how to eat to balance their blood sugar and nourish their cells, making them healthier on the inside, not just skinnier on the outside.	Yes, it actually does involve giving up some foods for the short-term, and learning about which foods to limit in the long run. And the increased awareness of what food does to your body may make you find yourself apologizing to your arteries when you cause them spasm.
Includes an active lifestyle and helps women see that they are stronger than they thought as they conquer the daily 5K walk.	Giving up a few extra Zzzz’s to get up with a friend and walk around the block while catching up on gossip. Or missing reruns of Lifetime Made-for-TV movies for an evening workout. (SPOILER ALERT: The female victim always gets justice against the male antagonist. So now you won’t miss out.)
Given the fact that students are creating wellness at a cellular level, weight loss is just one of many positive side effects, including, but not limited to, lower triglyceride levels, improved HDL, reduced inflammation markers, less insulin dependence, and better blood pressure.	Medication levels may need to be adjusted under the care of a physician. Also, you *might* save so much money on prescriptions that you might be tempted to buy extra Starbucks Frappuccinos, Sam's Club-sized boxes of Snickers bars*, or hit up a cruise ship buffet line, where you will be tempted to eat high-glycemic foods.
Utilizes a combination of convenient health foods and wholesome real foods, with awesome recipe swaps to bribe a girl’s taste buds.	Sometimes having dreamy Chocolate Almond Nut Shakes, Peanut Butter Crunch Bars, and fresh seasonal fruit in a Greek yogurt dip just gets so cliché. Seriously, there are so many great foods, that healthy is the new indulgence.
Um, hellooo…..students get to spend 12 weeks with ME.	Please see #5 in previous column.

* It is strict classroom policy that excess Snickers be removed from the student's home and eaten by the teacher donated to charity.

Yes, I may be guilty of making my chart with a little more razzulous dazzulous  in it, but that is simply because I believe that changing the way people approach food creates a more lasting solution to the health crisis in America than does encouraging them to strive for results without real change. I want to see my girls healthy, not just skinny, and that begins on the inside of our bodies, not the outside of our food. Despite all the advances in science and technology, I am still skeptical of anything that promises the appearance of health, yet doesn't do anything to improve the things that really count, like blood pressure, glucose levels, and inflammation markers (Cr-P, Homocysteine) that put us at risk for heart disease and Alzheimer's.

So, if you're ready to chuck the pills and change your life, look me up. Write a comment, post on my Facebook wall, or check out the 10-Day Jump Start for great ways to start a new normal in your life, one that doesn't involve sprinkly magic, but serious results. Besides, there is nothing normal about sprinkling a Snickers to death. 

To Stop Senseless Sprinkling of Snickers, please call the S4 Hotline at 1-800-SAV-TAST.